


Weak

by obikin



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Age Swap, Jedi Master Anakin Skywalker, M/M, Master & Padawan Relationship(s), Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi, Past Obi-Wan Kenobi/Satine Kryze, Past Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker, Timelines? What are those?, ratings change per chapter, some chapters are platonic and others are...not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:48:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22869640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obikin/pseuds/obikin
Summary: a series of scenes between padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi and his master, Anakin Skywalker
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 19
Kudos: 267





	1. Like Master, Like Padawan

**Author's Note:**

> this is a series of interactions between padawan!obi-wan and master!anakin. they're not in chronological order, and some timeline things have been fucked around with (for example, chapter 1's Satine debacle occurs far later in Obi-Wan's life than in canon.
> 
> not all chapters necessarily have to be read as shippy. i just love this dynamic.
> 
> also, keep in mind that while this story is marked as "complete" this is only because each chapter can stand alone. i'll update it whenever i'm struck with inspiration - and feel free to leave requests in the comments if you would like.

Obi-Wan curled himself into a ball in his shared quarters. He pressed his face into his knees, struggling to keep the sobs from wracking his frame, the tears from spilling over. He was eighteen – far too old for such betrayals of emotion, far too old to make such obvious, such blatant mistakes. Mistakes that went against everything the Order stood for, everything Obi-Wan had sworn himself to.

He took a deep breath and curled into a tighter ball. He should meditate and release these feelings into the Force. He should be able to steel himself, should be able to prevent such attraction from destroying his connection to the Order, to the Force.

He couldn’t help it as the tears fell. His master had hardly said a word to him since the incident – since he declared his love to Satine and vowed to leave the order for her. Before she – a duchess, not even a Jedi – reminded him that they both had other duties, other commitments than to each other. Where she kissed him, and smiled at him sadly, and told him “Obi-Wan, there is so much more to our lives than this.”

He had left her heartbroken and grief stricken. He barely noticed through his hardly concealed tears when he physically met his master, when his chin collided with his collarbone, and Anakin finally unshrouded himself from the Force to face his padawan.

It was clear through their training bond that Anakin had seen, that he knew – and that, more than anything, was the final nail in Obi-Wan’s coffin. That not only had Satine denied him, but that the Jedi would too, now. That as soon as they returned to Coruscant, Anakin would throw him to the Council and he would be exiled, or demoted – neither of which would hurt as much as the disappointment on the faces of the Jedi masters he revered so.

As the weight of it crushed him, Obi-Wan just curled in on himself tighter. He didn’t want to be hated, he didn’t want to be rejected. He didn’t want his master – one of the only people who he ever knew truly believed in him – to look at him like a monster for such blatant and severe disregard of their way of life. He didn’t want to lose Anakin on top of all of this. So he sobbed, and he waited, until he heard the fateful click of the door that separated his quarters from his master’s.

He couldn’t even raise his head when his master entered, deciding instead to remain insolent and curled into his ball. He couldn’t decide what would be worse – crying in front of Anakin, or childishly covering himself in hopes that it will diminish the sense of sorrow and woe that no doubt bloomed even though his shields, soaking into their bond like poison.

Anakin did not shield himself from his padawan’s perceptions, and moved slowly towards the bed, sitting at the end of it gently. When Obi-Wan chanced a look up from his knees, Anakin’s back was to him, his robotic hand mussing through his curls. Obi-Wan felt his stomach twist – his master couldn’t even look at him, could he? He tried to suppress the new wave of sobs, but they wracked him, and he had to curl up again.

Anakin sighed, pressed his face into his hands.

“My padawan, please. Please stop crying.”

In his distress, that only made Obi-Wan cry more. He couldn’t even do this one thing right for his master – could not control even this method of passion, in order to draw in peace and serenity.

He heard Anakin sigh, and then – what was that? He lifted his head, and through his tear-streaked gaze, he could only see his own master slumped over, head in his hands. His shoulders rose and fell far too violently for typical breathing, and when Obi-Wan, too shocked to sob, waited a moment, he could hear a soft sob emanate from his master’s own form.

“M-Master?” Obi-Wan asked, his own sobs still shaking him, but his attention now diverted to his master’s form. What was this? Was Anakin sick? Was he retching with how disgusted he was with his padawan?

When Anakin raised his head, it was none of these things. His eyes glistened like Obi-Wan’s own, and the track of a tear trailed along his scar. Obi-Wan froze in shock, unsure what to do.

“I told you to stop crying, Obi-Wan, and now look at me,” Anakin managed a watery laugh as he gestured to all of him, wiping away his own tears. He shook his head and motioned for Obi-Wan to draw closer, and out of habit, he did. For just that one moment, Obi-Wan was far too confused to remember that his master likely hated him, or wanted him expelled. He fell into the familiar routine of sitting next to his master, hip to hip, and Anakin tilted his head up.

Obi-Wan closed his eyes as Anakin wiped away his padawan’s tears, his hands still shaking from his own bout of crying.

“You’re a mess, my padawan. Come on, now, if you don’t stop crying, I won’t stop, and then we’ll never get anywhere.”

A strange laugh bubbled out of Obi-Wan then, at the familiarity of the words, of the actions. He even leaned into his master’s touch for a brief second, cherishing what might be his last positive interact with the man he revered more than anyone else.

“Why are you crying, master?” Obi-Wan asked before he could stop himself. To him, his master was perfect. A little headstrong, sure, and definitely reckless. But he had never seen him cry like this, never seen him so disappointed. If there was a way – any way – that Obi-Wan could right himself in his master’s eyes, he would.

“I just came from the council,” Anakin started, as he tried to steady his own breathing. “Regarding our recent mission.”

Obi-Wan’s blood ran cold. “About my failure.”

“Obi-Wan-“

“Master, I am so, so, sorry, I know what I did was horrible-“

“ _Obi-Wan_!”

Obi-Wan looked up, then, startled by his master’s intensity. Once he did, Anakin bracketed his face with his palms, forcing Obi-Wan to look into his fierce blue eyes. And they weren’t full of anger, or hatred – just intensity and determination.

“Listen to me, my padawan. Just, for once, calm your desire to debate and reason, and listen to what I have to say.”

Obi-Wan, startled and confused, nodded his head, and Anakin’s hands fell away, clutching at his master’s knees as Anakin clearly struggled to put together the words he wanted to use.

“The council told me that I should reprimand you – that I should transfer you to the agricorps, of all places – even though you’re all but fully trained.” Anakin scrubbed a hand along his face as Obi-Wan felt dread settle into his stomach. The council really did want him gone – wanted to take him off active duty, away from the life he had always desired.

“I told them I wouldn’t.”

Obi-Wan faced his master with a look of bewilderment and wonder. Anakin still looked old and weathered as he combed through his hair, and he looked up at Obi-Wan from where he was hunched over on his bed.

“I think it’s time I told you, my young padawan. Something I should have told you long ago – maybe if I had, I wouldn’t have failed you so.”

“Failed me? Master, it was _I_ who broke the code, it had nothing to do with-“

“I was once married.”

Silence fell. Obi-Wan blinked up at his master in wonder, as Anakin clutched at his knees.

“M-married?” As if Obi-Wan had heard him incorrectly. He expected Anakin to look at him like he was insane, instead, his master simply nodded.

“Yes, my young Obi-Wan. Married. When I was only a year older than you are now, I married a senator. I loved her. We wanted to be together, wanted to start a family – “

Anakin cut himself off, as this was clearly painful for him. He tugged at his curls, and Obi-Wan instinctively scooted closer, to offer his master what little comfort he could from this old wound. But still, Obi-Wan’s mind reeled – his master, his master had been _married_? He had been betraying the Jedi Code to such an extent from when he was no older than Obi-Wan was now?

“We wanted so much, Obi-Wan. But she was a senator, and I was a Jedi. And when she became pregnant, I refused to leave the Order. She was fully prepared to give up everything – all of her ambitions, all of her duties as a senator – to care for our children. But I – I couldn’t. The Order needed me, and I –“

Anakin looked at Obi-Wan as if he was guilty, and Obi-Wan’s breath caught.

“You had me,” He replied, in recognition. Anakin had barely been knighted himself when the Jedi had thrust young Obi-Wan upon him. Anakin nodded, and Obi-Wan felt his shoulders sag.

“We divorced soon after. She told the media that one of her fellow dignitaries from her home planet was the father. I still see them every now and then, my children.” Anakin smiled sadly. “But they don’t know who I am. And I promised her they never would.”

Obi-Wan stared at his master, open-mouthed.

“You-you-“

“You think you’ve broken the Code, my dear Obi-Wan?” Anakin grinned at him, half wry, half sad. “I have shattered it into a million pieces, and the council is none the wiser. I would be a hypocrite to send you away. You’ve only failed because you were taught by a broken man.”

“No!” Obi-Wan yelled, and it even startled Anakin. Obi-Wan was indignant, frowning at his master, hands balled into tight fists. “You are not broken, master. You have taught me so much – you have taught me more than I ever wished to learn. Without you, I-“

Obi-Wan choked off another wave of emotion. He needed Anakin to know this.

“You have been the only beacon of hope for me. For years, the Order has worried over me. That I was too emotional, that I loved too deeply – that I was not strong enough to be a Jedi.” Obi-Wan tightened his fists further. “But you _chose_ me. You showed me that the Code was not as rigid as I thought it was. That it was alright to be invested in my fellow Jedi – that I could follow my heart and the Force that I felt there.” Obi-Wan clutches the robes over his chest. “And after all I have done – after I vowed to leave the Order, to leave you – you still accepted me back with open arms. You forgave me after I betrayed you.”

Obi-Wan was crying again, and instead of keeping a respectful distance, this time Anakin gathered him to his chest, pulled Obi-Wan tight so that his face pressed to the crook of his master’s neck, and he could wrap his arms around the taller man tightly.

“You never betrayed me, my padawan. You were in love. And love makes you –“ Anakin seemed to choke on his own words, his own emotions. “Love makes you forget what is real. What is the truth of the world. When I loved my Pa-my senator, I forgot who we were. I forgot what choices I would have to make. I thought that the world would revolve around me, that I could have everything I desired. But she knew I couldn’t. She knew that loving a Jedi, and raising children – that this was no life to live. That I would be unable to love her the way she deserved, and she was right.”

“And Satine knew the same. She knew that she was too devoted to her job. She knew that while you were willing to give up everything for her, that she couldn’t do the same. And she was more mature than I ever could have been in her situation.” Anakin smiled sadly against his padawan’s hair, and Obi-Wan just hugged him tighter.

“I am so, so sorry, master-“ Obi-Wan pleaded again, seeking comfort in his master’s embrace. He couldn’t remember the last time they had hugged like this. Maybe it was after a near-death experience after a battle – he couldn’t remember. But the safety that radiated through their bond, and the comfort, was something Obi-Wan simply couldn’t get enough of.

“Stop apologizing, Obi-Wan,” Anakin laughed. “Didn’t I just tell you that I made the same mistake as you? There’s no need for you to apologize to me.”

Obi-Wan shook his head. “Still, I want to. I worried you – I put you through trouble with the council.”

“If anything, my young padawan, you should apologize for getting caught.”

Obi-Wan laughed, bright but still full of tears, clinging to his master. This wasn’t the first time his master had berated him for being too truthful when it came to the Code and the council, so the jab was comforting, familiar – welcome.

Anakin chuckled himself, brushing his calloused hand over Obi-Wan’s short hair, making the younger man shiver when he brushed against the nape of his neck. “Oh, my padawan. You have so much to learn.”


	2. First Meetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan Kenobi meets the man who will be his Jedi master.

The newly-ended war had brought with it much change, Obi-Wan knew. With all the young Knights finally returning to the Temple for extended periods to time, the youngling had met many of these knights in the past few months – knights he did not even know the existence of until the treaty was signed. The Temple bustled with so many combined Force signatures it had almost made Obi-Wan claustrophobic, even if the projections of these signatures were carefully guarded among knights, masters, and even the padawans.

That idea – becoming a padawan, had always excited Obi-Wan, and frightened him at the same time. Being a padawan meant learning more than he knew, which interested Obi-Wan greatly. He always wanted to know more, and he soaked up information like a sponge, treasuring each new skill or holocron that he encountered. However, it was also frightening. Becoming at padawan meant gaining a master and doing everything with that one older Jedi.

It was especially frightening now that Obi-Wan was not assured a space as a padawan. During the war, the Council was tasked with pairing up the willing Master and Knights with the strongest of the younglings – the ones that had the most potential as padawan learners. But now that the war had ended, so had this forcible pairing of student with teacher. Instead, it was replaced once more with the much looser regulation of “the will of the Force” – a concept wherein a Jedi would not take on a new padawan until they felt drawn together by the Force, or, in the absence of that, a decision made on that Jedi’s own judgement that the youngling was strong and would work well under their tutelage.

It terrified Obi-Wan to no end that even after all his work, struggling to the top of his class with long hours of training, that he still might not be good enough. But still, he hoped beyond hope that some Jedi would find him a worthy pupil.

He had, of course, imagined what his master would be like. He imagined a strong, quiet Jedi Knight, coming back from the war, serene and at peace now that the world was as well. Someone who was gentle and kind, but firm, and who adhered to the Code. Obi-Wan knew that he struggled immensely with certain aspects of the Code, and he wanted to learn how to better himself – how to become a true Jedi. He thought the Force would guide him down that path.

Instead, he found his master in the most unusual of ways.

Obi-Wan entered the Hall of a Thousand Fountains alone for the first time. The previous day, he had finally been promoted to an initiate – an in-between rank, with its own specific robes and rules, that indicated to the full-fledged Jedi that this youngling was of age to be taken on as a padawan. The new role came with many perks – firstly, being Obi-Wan’s new robes, which were a touch too big on him, but that he wore with dignity nonetheless. Secondly, Obi-Wan now had permission to roam the Temple freely in certain areas, during certain hours, as this made it easier for him to socialize with the Jedi and perhaps find a suitable teacher.

One of these places was the Hall of a Thousand Fountains, where Obi-Wan had come to meditate. It was exciting – the fact that he could now roam the expanse of the large room on his own, that he could work on his meditation alone, further honing his skills so that a potential master could be impressed by his control.

His eagerness, and the newness of it all, meant that as he entered the Hall, he walked with a certain pride in his step, head held high as he displayed his new robes and his new freedom.

He was just looking for a nice, quiet spot to work on his breathing techniques.

Instead, he tripped on the long edges of his robes. The momentum of his posturing sent him tumbling forward, the dirt and gravel of the path scraping against his skin and dirtying his robes.

“Kark-!” Obi-Wan whispered under his breath, more shocked than anything else, the curse falling out of his mouth without a second thought.

Before he could be properly annoyed with himself for ruining his robes as well as his first solo meditation round, he heard a soft snort from behind him.

A young Jedi was watching him, a hand covering his mouth as he tried, and failed, not to laugh too loud. Obi-Wan hadn’t even noticed him before – far too concerned with where he was going and how he intended on spending his meditation. Now that he locked eyes with this person – a Jedi Knight, Obi-Wan remarked with dread – he had no idea how he had missed him. He positively shone in the Force, a golden, heavy presence that practically smothered Obi-Wan worse than his own embarrassment. If the presence of all the young Knights within the Temple felt claustrophobic, the presence of this man felt absolutely stifling.

“Oh, I- I’m so sorry-“ Obi-Wan spat out, willing himself to be polite, even through the crush of the Jedi’s Force signature and the sting of his embarrassment

The Jedi shook his head, bronze curls bouncing as he still tried to stifle his laughter.

“No, don’t be, it’s a welcome distraction, honestly,” the Jedi replied, with a lopsided smile. Obi-Wan fiddled with his hands behind his back, feeling incredibly out of place. “Here, would you like to sit down?” The Knight gestured to one of the stone meditation platforms near him, and Obi-Wan swallowed, the nerves threatening to consume him wholly.

“Oh, there’s no need-“ he tried to politely decline, not wanting to bother the Knight with his youngling foolishness anymore. He was probably only offering the company out of pity.

The Jedi shook his head again, patting the stone with more force.

“No, really, I insist,” he replied, and Obi-Wan sighed. He wasn’t really in a place to deny a kind gesture like that when the man insisted, so he picked his way to the stone carefully, sure to not trip over his long robes again on the way over.

“You look a little young to be in the Hall all alone, little guy,” he continued, and Obi-Wan had to stifle a pout. Of course, his first time in the Hall alone, and he had to be called out for how young he looked. It wasn’t Obi-Wan’s fault that he was short!

“My name is Obi-Wan Kenobi, and I’m an initiate! I’m old enough to meditate on my own,” Obi-Wan proclaimed, holding his head high. The older Jedi grinned at him, and even though Obi-Wan could tell that the other found his response amusing, there was no malice in that gaze.

“And you’re how old, Initiate Kenobi?” the older Jedi asked, addressing him as if initiate was a proper title, like Knight or Padawan. Obi-Wan blushed furiously, but he wouldn’t be belittled by a Knight who had the gall to laugh at younglings falling on their faces.

“I turned eleven yesterday,” he sat up tall and defiant, and at his response. To his own surprise, the Knight’s eyebrows shot up, clearly impressed.

“You’re only eleven? Force, things have changed since I was young…” the Jedi mused, brushing through his hair. It looked soft, Obi-Wan considered, before frowning. When he was young? This Jedi looked like he was barely old enough to have been Knighted, despite the length of his hair telling a different story.

“What do you mean by that?” Obi-Wan asked instead, crossing his arms indignantly. The Knight did not seem to catch on to the initiate’s lack of respect, instead lost in his own musings.

“Well, the first time I was allowed to meditate without at the very least, one Knight present, was when I was thirteen. I was only allowed out with two other padawan learners,” the Knight chuckled, the sound bubbling through his Force signature like fizz in a golden liquor. “After that, I wasn’t allowed in here alone until I was… what, eighteen?”

“ _Eighteen_?” Obi-Wan spat out before he could stop himself. He was incredulous – what kind of Jedi wasn’t allowed to meditate alone until he was practically a legal adult?

Instead of angering at the tone of Obi-Wan’s voice, the older Jedi just laughed louder, earning some passing glares from a few other Knights. The Jedi didn’t seem to care, but he did stifle his noise and lower his voice when he spoke again.

“Oh, you know, sometimes when you’re young you tend to have an impromptu sparring match in the Hall of a Thousand Fountains, breaking one of the oldest artifacts in the Hall,” he was still grinning, but there was a pink blush creeping over his cheeks as he relayed the story to the initiate. Obi-wan couldn’t help it – his mouth dropped open in disbelief.

“Oh, yes, of course,” Obi-Wan replied, the sarcasm lacing his words before he even knew what he was doing. The Jedi raised his eyebrows again, suppressing a snort at the sass.

“Well, I never was one for meditation,” he shrugged.

“Clearly,” kark, what was it about this Jedi that drew such unprofessional responses from him! If he spoke in such a way to Grand Master Yoda – or, Force forbid, Master Windu – Obi-Wan would be cleaning the Library with his toothbrush. But this Jedi just responded with a jovial twinkle in his eye, as if he enjoyed the banter – as if no one treated him as anything other than an untouchable Jedi Knight.

The Jedi seemed so pleased, until a beat passed, and he looked confused, shocked, even.

“Wait, did I ever even introduce myself to you?” he asked, and Obi-Wan shook his head. The Jedi sighed, shaking his head as if he were particularly upset with himself.

“I’m sorry about that, I’m Anakin Skywalker,” he said, holding his hand outstretched toward Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan opening his mouth as he reached for Skywalker’s hand – as if to thank him, say that meeting him was a pleasure – either with sarcasm or in truth, but the words died in his mouth as the pads of his fingers brushed against the Jedi’s palm.

It was as if someone had set off fireworks in the Force. His own signature and the Jedi’s – Anakin’s – immediately surged forward to meet, like nothing Obi-Wan had ever felt before. In an instant, it was like some switch had been flipped – like an electrical charge had been sent through their signatures, but in a way Obi-Wan could never fathom. Anakin’s signature, which has been stifling, smothering, was now a soft blanket over his shoulders, a comfort, even. He felt his own signature, still taunt from the tension of meeting a new Jedi, sink into the Force, relax into it as he knew he was safe.

Obi-Wan thought, for a brief moment, that he had gone insane, that he had dreamt it all – but when he raised his gaze to meet Anakin’s the Jedi’s eyes shown with nothing more than shock and wonder – with the same amazement that Obi-Wan felt at the slightest touch.

When Anakin and Obi-Wan presented this before the council, only a few hours after they had first met, Obi-Wan quickly learned that this is what the Force felt like, when it drew a padawan and master together. That this was what it felt like to be chosen by the universe.

And instead of a calm, mature, and reserved master, Obi-Wan was instead placed under the tutelage of the only Knight in the entire Order who had never learned how to properly meditate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it took me forever to write this - i kept playing around with different ways for Obi-Wan and Anakin to meet, and for the longest time I was wrestling with a scene where Anakin met Obi-Wan at a formal initiate tournament but... this just felt better. keep in mind that canon? a suggestion, at best.


End file.
